#6. WAL-MART, A.K.A. SATAN'S ANUS
Cameron and I went shopping last night. I only needed about 10 things, so I mistakenly decided to go to Wal-mart for a "quick in-and-out." (Yes, apparently I have early onset dementia.) There were a few red flags that I threw aside haphazardly.
#1) I found a parking spot close to the door. We all know that feeling of triumph as we pull into one of those coveted spots designed to keep fat people fatter and to make the entitled feel like they have claimed their rightful throne in the Kingdom of Rejects.
#2) Upon walking into the checkout area, I notice that there are no less than TEN self-checkout stations open. All are currently at capacity and hold lines of approximately 10 people each. Also, these stations are being 'managed' by a girl who clearly didn't drive to work, as it is illegal for 14 year olds to drive in Tennessee. (Yes, nit-pickers, she could've had a hardship license.... STAY FOCUSED!)
#3) The other checkout lines were AT LEAST 10 people long; ALL with full buggies! Oh, I nearly forgot to mention: When I said "other checkout lines," this means BOTH of the other checkout lines... Yes, two of them. On a Saturday night. In Cleveland.
This list could go on for another hour... nearly as long as my in-and-out took. I only got 12 things, people! I waited for 22 minutes for TWELVE ITEMS. I have spared you the details of the fashionably challenged, the socially troubled, and the parents who failed to give their children any hope for being functional parts of a society. With that, I will say, "I HATE YOU, SAM WALTON".... and leave you with a few representations of my visit that are eerily similar to my experience.
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