I Truly Hate...

 After reading a friend’s post, I decided that a ‘hate’ blog was in order. The problem with being opinionated is that I find tons of stuff that I can’t stand. “But, Derrick, hate is such a strong word. You don’t really mean it!” Two words: Get. Bent. If I didn’t mean to say it, then I wouldn’t say it. People who say that they don’t hate anything are probably people who hate the most things, but are terrified to speak their mind, in case someone questions their opinions and motives. So, I’ll start my list with those people…

I HATE…

1.      people who say that they don’t hate anything. Yes, it’s a definitive word, but have some backbone and speak your mind.

2.      waking up EXACTLY 7 seconds before the alarm goes off. Honestly, I picture God looking down and laughing at me. He does have a sense of humor, you know.

3.      parents who refuse to spank their kids. When did we begin this nationwide, prissification (yeah, just made that up) of our children? No wonder every buck-toothed, knock-kneed, web-footed, ‘my-mom-bakes-better-cookies-than-your-mom’ 6 year old feels like they are entitled to anything they want. Guess what? You’re six. You have no opinion… and if you do, shut up. I don’t care.

4.      people who continually try to “friend” me on Facebook. Look, I’m all for having friends. The problem is that if I have clicked ignore more than twice, I don’t like you THAT much. Yeah, I’d probably accept you if there was an “Accept Acquaintance” button. I know you, I just don’t want to know you more than I do. And I sure don’t want you knowing me more than that…

5.      zombie movies in which the zombies can run. That’s eff’ed up. Whoever thought of this concept, I hate you. too. I don’t have to explain it… It speaks for itself.

6.      98% of all rap music. Come one. How many ways can you talk (rap is not singing) about killing someone, smoking weed, getting drunk, bangin hos, and getting rich? **Side note: I only know that’s what those songs are about because I read the lyrics. No one can understand people who talk with fake metal teeth who shove the mic down their throat, then scream…

7.      the New York Yankees. Honestly, we get it. You have lots of money. Congratulations! You beat teams whose entire salary is roughly the same as your lowest paid player. Good to see that you’re winning with what you have. /sarcasm off

8.      parents who think they are more qualified than I am to do my job. I know on the surface it looks like anyone can do it. I get it. However, I’m probably spending more time with your kid in the average week than you do. I know what they’ve learned, how they learned it, and what they don’t understand. So, by all means, go back to cleaning out the meat lockers at McDonalds and let me do my job. I’m actually really good at it.

Please be advised that this is NOT an all-inclusive list. I’m sure I’ll add to it at some point. Thanks for the idea, A. It was good to get this out. J

Derrick