So, anyone who knows me will be able to tell you about this strange, obscene, inexplicable obsession with zombies. I wish I knew why, but I honestly have no clue as to when it all began. I'm not a terribly morbid person, I've never seen an actual zombie (although, I did have that one professor in college that I was unsure of...), and I've never attended an event in which a dead person sat back up or tried to eat me.
I can say for a fact that about 4 years ago, I began having extremely regular dreams about them; we're talking 4-5 times a week. I mean to the point that, even in my dream, I was telling myself what I had dreamt about earlier, so as not to make the same mistakes. It just seemed like everywhere I turned some semblance of a zombie was staggering back toward me.
3) Dawn of the Dead was probably the first zombie movie I saw that truly pissed me off. Don't get me wrong; the story is pretty good, the action is appropriate, and the acting was above par. However, never under God's hot sun should a zombie be able to run! I mean, honestly, rotting muscles and tissue, yet you can RUN after me?! This shook the very foundation of my zombie knowledge. I was (am) pissed off! This is the most fucked up thing about any zombie movie... EVER. I don't know who started this crap, but I hope that person becomes a zombie, runs at me, and I cut his legs out from under him... then I'm gonna beat his ass back to death with his own feet. When he's dead, I'm gonna shove a leg up each nostril and set him on fire. Then, I'm going to put his ashes in a coffee can, use it as a toilet, and send it home to his mother... That'll teach him to make zombies who can run... asshole.
4) AMC has a television show, The Walking Dead. This show, based on a graphic novel series, is phenomenal. I even got Jenny, who thinks my zombie fascination stems from being married to her, to watch this show. Basically, Rick is left for dead in a hospital while recovering from being shot on the job (as a sheriff). Upon waking, he sees what's happened to the world and begins the hunt for his wife and son. I won't ruin it for you, but the storyline is amazing. Each episode leaves you waiting for the next. The only downfall is that AMC didn't anticipate how hugely popular the show would be and failed to prepare a second season of episodes. With writing and filming, they are projecting season 2 to premiere in October of this year. I know some of you are thinking, "Whoop-dee-freakin-doo!" but I'm telling you, this is for real. On its premiere night last October, it broke the all-time record for the most watched television show in the history of cable television. Check it out and thank me later (I'll send you an email containing my address to which you can lavish me with awesome gifts and such.)
I can say for a fact that about 4 years ago, I began having extremely regular dreams about them; we're talking 4-5 times a week. I mean to the point that, even in my dream, I was telling myself what I had dreamt about earlier, so as not to make the same mistakes. It just seemed like everywhere I turned some semblance of a zombie was staggering back toward me.
This blog will be the first in a series dedicated to all things zombie in my life. I'm sure there will be others, as I have some sort of magnetic draw to them, although I could be (un)dead wrong... Yeah, I'm even disappointed in myself for that statement...
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Let's begin with something light; a couple of my favorite zombie movies.
1) Right at the very top of the list is Shaun of the Dead. Great movie with a lot of amazing one-liners. It's not intense or aggressive, for the most part. A great film with an amazing humor element.
The basic rundown of the film is that the outbreak has occurred in London. In the midst of Shaun and his best friend, Ed, attempting to remain alive and save the people the love, Shaun is stuck in a battle to save his failing relationship with his (ex)girlfriend, Liz. The two best friends truly make me hope that when the world comes to this end, that I have my best bud beside me... but hopefully more competent that Ed.
2) Next up is ZombieLand. Almost as funny as Shaun, but this movie gets a little deeper into the personal stories of the characters. These four survivors meet criss-crossing the country because they have heard that the opposite side of the country is safe from infection. Z-Land is also quite a bit more intense than Shaun. The gore and scare factor has been turned up noticibly, especially early and late in the movie. However, following the storylines of a man obsessed with Twinkies, a kid who has 32 rules to surviving the zombies, and two girls who just want to get to an amusement park, takes away from the intensity. Solid zombie movie.
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| Tallahassee: Out west, we hear it's back east. Back east, they hear it's out west. It's all just nonsense. You know, you're like a penguin on the North Pole who hears the South Pole is really nice this time of the year. Columbus: There are no penguins on the North Pole. Tallahassee: You wanna feel how hard I can punch? |
3) Dawn of the Dead was probably the first zombie movie I saw that truly pissed me off. Don't get me wrong; the story is pretty good, the action is appropriate, and the acting was above par. However, never under God's hot sun should a zombie be able to run! I mean, honestly, rotting muscles and tissue, yet you can RUN after me?! This shook the very foundation of my zombie knowledge. I was (am) pissed off! This is the most fucked up thing about any zombie movie... EVER. I don't know who started this crap, but I hope that person becomes a zombie, runs at me, and I cut his legs out from under him... then I'm gonna beat his ass back to death with his own feet. When he's dead, I'm gonna shove a leg up each nostril and set him on fire. Then, I'm going to put his ashes in a coffee can, use it as a toilet, and send it home to his mother... That'll teach him to make zombies who can run... asshole.
4) AMC has a television show, The Walking Dead. This show, based on a graphic novel series, is phenomenal. I even got Jenny, who thinks my zombie fascination stems from being married to her, to watch this show. Basically, Rick is left for dead in a hospital while recovering from being shot on the job (as a sheriff). Upon waking, he sees what's happened to the world and begins the hunt for his wife and son. I won't ruin it for you, but the storyline is amazing. Each episode leaves you waiting for the next. The only downfall is that AMC didn't anticipate how hugely popular the show would be and failed to prepare a second season of episodes. With writing and filming, they are projecting season 2 to premiere in October of this year. I know some of you are thinking, "Whoop-dee-freakin-doo!" but I'm telling you, this is for real. On its premiere night last October, it broke the all-time record for the most watched television show in the history of cable television. Check it out and thank me later (I'll send you an email containing my address to which you can lavish me with awesome gifts and such.)
I'm going to stop there for now. If you don't like zombies, then you didn't even read this far. I'm not sure why I went all Siskel and Ebert on this, but it just seemed like the right thing to do. Hopefully, my next in this series will get me back to the all-knowing, sarcastic, realist that you all know and love.
Love the walking dead! And I agree, zombies should not be able to run. The scary thing about zombies is there numbers, and the inability to control the outbreak, not how fast they can catch up with you...
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