For a Friend

     This post will not be funny. It will not be witty. It will not be sarcastic or hard-hearted, as per my usual. This post is a way for me to get some things out of my own head that I often keep in too much or hold onto for too long before they eventually are the root cause for me overreacting to a situation or blowing something entirely out of proportion, as I'm sure many of us are apt to do.

     In fact, this will be a post of expression; expression of something I haven't considered a great deal until the last few days.


     With the very recent passing of a friend, I was confronted with a situation I haven't ever put much thought into: "How am I going to react when I lose someone I truly care about?" I'll be honest. The list of people that I genuinely and whole-heartedly care for is very small. In fact, I would say the number is less than 10, which in and of itself is a sad state of affairs. That being said, this entire situation has me rethinking much of how I handle the people in my life on a day-to-day basis.

     I think, as a society and as a people in general, that the world fosters a lifestyle that makes it much easier for us to treat people in the same manner in which we would treat batteries; we don't think much about them while they're viable or until we need them or they're no longer useful. It's easier to make up a reason to not answer a phone call or to go out to dinner with a friend. I am probably the most guilty person on the entire planet of this. It's not that I don't enjoy the company of others, but, rather, would stay in and be selfish with my time. Not that my time is any more or less important than someone else's. However, in staying in and blowing off an invitation from a friend, how many times have I denied them the opportunity to get something off of their chest that no one would listen to? How many times have I thrown away the chance to create a new memory with someone? How many times have I ignored what was a call for help when all someone needed was a friend to hear about a heartache or when they just needed the company of someone who they knew they could trust?

     Recent events have made me confront this question and so many others. When I die, what will my friends say about me? That I was egotistical? Funny? Understanding? Inconsiderate? While people make the procession around the coffin, will they be stoic and uncaring? or will they be smiling through the tears as they reminisce about a memory that we'd shared just last week or 10 years ago? Who we are is defined inevitably by what we do, how we live, and, arguably most importantly, how we treat both those we care about as well as those that we do not.

     Am I saying that I will, from this point forward, answer every call, respond to every text, and be a saint to my fullest ability? Absolutely not. It's not in my DNA. If you know me at all, you definitely can attest to this truth. What I am saying, however, is that I'm forced to reconsider who I am and the actions that come along with being me. I think if we all look deep, we could see that every one of us could use some adjusting now and then. As much as I'd like to think differently, I am just as guilty as anyone.

     So, after reading this, if you find yourself considering my words sitting on the couch tonight, or if it sparks a discussion with your significant other, or if you simply decide to smile at the deli clerk tomorrow at the store because it looks like it could change their day, then I have done what I've set out to do.

As far as those few friends that we all hold nearest and dearest to our hearts; instead of tossing out those batteries, maybe it's just time to recharge them and make them a useful and meaningful part of our lives again.


[This post is specifically dedicated (and hopefully I have done her some justice, in some shape, form or fashion) to Sheri Lynn West. You will be missed, but not forgotten. My heart goes out to Josh West, their three beautiful children, Jeri Ann Moody, their parents, and their family and friends.]

Growing Pains

      Cameron walked into Kindergarten today, on his own, for the first time. I pulled up to the awning, handed him his backpack and his lunchbox, kissed his cheek, and told him I loved him and hoped he had the best day. As I'm pulling away, he stood unphased with a smile on his face and waving. As he turned to walk inside, he yelled, "Hey dad!" I turned back to look, he waved and said, "I love you" and walked on inside.

     I lost it.

     So many times I have wondered what I could have done better or looked at all the things I have probably done wrong. And then I see him. I don't deserve him. He's the happiest, most energetic, polite, tender-hearted, intelligent little boy I have ever known. He is resilient beyond all compare. No matter what we or life have ever thrown at him, he waits, analyzes, and adjusts accordingly. I do not know how he does it. Everything to him is just another stride in life's walk. How I became the dad of this guy is beyond me. Of all of the people who deserved to have him as a son, I was chosen. It's not fair to him. Yet, every day, without fail, whether through words or actions or some memory of something that he has done or said in the past, I smile daily. He is the only thing I have ever done completely right, and most of that isn't even on me. It's as if he just knows that I need him to be so amazing because I fall so short, so often. I just want to hug him and apologize for not being as good as the the dad he deserves.

    I could tell him that. But he would just look at me, smile, and say, "That's ok dad. I love you." It's just how he is, and I never want to take that for granted.

   

PROJECT: TOO HOT HONDA





 



 

This is my ol' girl. She's tough, dependable, reliable, and, well, old. She's a '97. She's got 202,000 miles on her. In fact, her only flaws are cosmetic. Ladies, you understand. She's got...



dings and dents

parts falling off

a deteriorating interior

even a bullet ricochet acquired years ago.

However, unlike every other girl I've ever know, she's never given me one, single problem... until yesterday.  On the way home from picking up Monk from daycare, she decided she would pick up a smoking habit. Mad? No. Concerned? Yes. After making it home, as she has for 13 years, I popped the hood for a peek. Coincidentally, a 'peek' is actually my most advanced mechanic move that I have acquired. After immediately seeing the problem, which was cleverly hidden by a smoking crack that was spitting lava-hot engine coolant, I did some research. Research, while not always an automotive skill, I can do and do well. 

After watching 15 YouTube videos, reading countless 'how-to' walkthroughs, and even studying some graphs of a radiator, I decided that I'd try my hand at some radiator maintenance. That being said, I would be completely remiss to not acknowledge some key sources (plus, it's just poor academia not to do so). To anyone with a Honda and considering undertaking a radiator change, I would highly suggest the following:

This is Part 1 of a two part video. This will help you get the radiator off.

,This is Part 2. This helps getting the new radiator in.

This E-How was awesome:  http://www.ehow.com/how_6088156_honda-civic-radiator-install-instructions.html

Finally, this diagram was a nice addition for finding the drain plug and fan make-up:

Cleaning Up

 I made this a while back and am just now getting around to posting it... I'm lazy. Anyway, I read a long time ago about people making their own laundry detergent and dismissed it as some kind of new-age, hippie bullcrap. Turns out, the hippies are onto something. It's quick, relatively easy, and will save you some serious dough in the long run. I'm going to try and make this as simple as possible and try to not leave anything out. Here goes:

What you will need:
1 bar of Fels-Naptha soap
1 55oz box of Arm & Hammer WASHING soda
1 72oz box of Borax
1 16oz tub of Oxyclean (I use Dollar Tree brand)
a microwave-safe plate or dish
a cheese grater with a fine (not long) cut
a container to mix ingredients
a 2tablespoon scoop
a container to store finished product

1) The first thing I did was cut my soap into fourths. then, one piece at a time, heat them individually for 35-45 seconds. It will transform from a block to the blob you see in the picture to the left. It was so awesome to watch that I had Monkey come and watch me do the rest. He loved watching them transform.

This process also fills your house with a clean smell from the soap, so it's a two-for-one! Don't worry, it doesn't stink up your microwave for weeks afterward. It goes away quickly. :)

LET THE SOAP COOL! Very important unless you are a sadist who enjoys melting the skin off of your hands.

2) Then, grate the soap using a fine grater. I grated 1 bar of soap for a small batch. I'll list the ratio at the end in case you want to make a larger batch (which I did because it worked so well!). You can also substitute Ivory soap for a different scent. I've also read that some people think Ivory works as a fabric softener. I need to try that to find out.




3) Next, mix in 1 cup of Borax.
     (Yep, that's my hand.)


Very important to MIX WELL when you add each ingredient. Remember: all of this stuff will be working together.











4) Mix 1 cup of washing soda. As stated before, mix well.

5) Mix 3/4cup - 1 cup of Oxyclean. I use the Dollar Tree brand called Awesome Oxygen. Exactly the same, but it costs ONE DOLLAR, not six dollars...

Remember, mix well... See the theme?

When all of the ingredients have been mixed (mixed WELL, that is), this is what you end up with. A clean smelling mixture that works amazingly well.







I bought this container at the Dollar Tree when I bought the faux-Oxyclean. Also, in the jar is a small 2 tablespoon scoop. Yes, you read that right. It only takes 2 tablespoons to do a load of laundry! In the end, this detergent costs about $.05-.10 PER LOAD. To give you an reference point, the average cost of laundry per load of store bought detergent is $.20+ per load. Your total cost of ingredients is roughly $9.00 and if you spend another dollar for soap, it's about 6 months of soap for $10 bucks! If you can get this stuff on sale or use off-brands to get them cheaper, your savings are going to be even    greater.

So, that's that. I hope this helps someone. I was tired of spending $20 bucks a month or every 6 weeks for detergent; especially when for $9 I could make enough to last me for 3 months. Try it out and see what you think. :)

 

The Soundtrack of My Life

     I have been meaning to get around to this for a while now. I'm not sure that any list like this can stay permanent, but this is what I could think of tonight. There were a lot of good songs that I wanted to add, but didn't have a category for it (or else the list would've been forever long). I added links to all of the songs on YouTube, if you want to hear any of them. I'm always up for suggestions or thoughts. Or even post your own on here. I'd love to see what you all listen to. Enjoy!

-Opening Credits:  Boston "Peace of Mind"   


-Waking Up: PANIC! At the Disco "Nine in the Afternoon"


-Falling In Love: Ben Harper "Not Fire, Not Ice"  or Foo Fighters "Everlong"


-Fight Scene: Linkin Park "One Step Closer"


-Breaking Up:  James Blunt "Goodbye, My Lover"  or  
                    John Mayer "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room"


-Make Up: Jason Aldean "Why"


-Secret Love: Derek and the Dominos "Layla"  or  Adele "Love Song"  


-Life's OK: Nitty Gritty Dirt Band "Fishin' in the Dark"


-Mental Breakdown: Evanescence "Lithium"  or Flyleaf "I'm So Sick"


-Driving Scene:  Allman Brothers "Midnight Rider"  or 
                       Tom Petty "Runnin' Down a Dream"


-Flashback: Jim Croce "Time in a Bottle"  or Seether "Careless Whisper"


-Happy Dance:  Blues Traveler "Run Around" 


-Regretting: Seether and Amy Lee "Broken"  or Crossfade "Cold" 


-Long Night Alone: Ben Harper "Another Lonely Day"  or 
                           Duke Ellington and John Coltrane "In a  Sentimental Mood"


-Final Battle: 30 Seconds to Mars "The Kill"


-Death Scene:  Johnny Cash "Hurt"  or Dave Matthews "Gravedigger"


-Final Ending: John Mayer "Gravity"


-End Credits: Frank Sinatra "Fly Me to the Moon"

RANT [ON] OFF

     Wow. I'm here on the couch, minding my own business, perusing the news and come across a story titled, "Chicago Teacher Sues for the Right to Use the N-Word." It sounds unusual, so I bit. Once I got to the link and read the story,  I  was actually offended! The teacher involved intercepted a note being passed during class, which included the word, and began to explain why the word is perceived as negative and how hurtful it can be even when used by blacks. At this point, his principal passed by his door and the teacher was immediately suspended without pay for 5 days. WTF?! No due process, no questions asked at all; removed and suspended. This lit a fire, so I continued on through rhe education news feed...



    My next encounter was with a story where MULTIPLE schools systems want to or already are paying students for attendance and behavior. WTF?! Are you kidding me right now? And one of these instances occurred at a charter school, where they can basically elect to remove you from the school for not performing to their standards. If public schools were allowed to remove students based on behavior and performance, there would be no argument about why American schools are falling behind. It's usually those 3 jackasses we all have in our classrooms that make it difficult for the other 18 to learn anything! NOW, they are trying to PAY them to do what should be expected of them in the first place? Sweet 8 pound 6 ounce baby Jesus, I was livid after reading this!

     I took a second to breathe, then sat back to think about some of the things that happen daily and closer to home. (Who has two thumbs and is apparently a glutton for depressing, profession-related news? THIS GUY!) In our county, there's this ridiculous unwritten rule that we aren't suppose to give kids below a 59 on anything. Of course, since it's unwritten, I refuse to follow the notion that we should give kids 59 points of credit for turning in absolutely nothing. The thinking behind this ignorant policy is that it is easier to recover from a 59 than a zero grade. No shit. That's the point of a zero, though. If you get your zero and it effects (or affects; I can't ever figure that one out), then next time you will put forth the afore mentioned effort. Somewhere along the line, parents stopped giving a crap about their kids' grades making this a pointless endeavor for 70% of my kids who struggle.

     My next biggest problem is tardy students and those with high-absenteeism without a doctor's note. So, my dear friend Google clued me in on a story from California where they actually have a law in place to prevent this. Here is the quote from the article:  "California’s new attorney general, Kamala Harris, tested the law out in San Francisco and said that it was responsible for cutting truancy rates in the city by 32 percent. Harris addressed the issue in her inaugural speech yesterday:

We know chronic truancy leads to dropping out, which dramatically increases the odds that a young person will become either a perpetrator or a victim of crime. Folks, it is time to get serious about the problem of chronic truancy in California. Last year we had 600,000 truant students in our elementary schools alone, which roughly matches the number of inmates in our state prisons. Is it a coincidence? Of course not.
And as unacceptable as this problem is - I know we can fix it. In San Francisco, we threatened the parents of truants with prosecution, and truancy dropped 32 percent. So, we are putting parents on notice. If you fail in your responsibility to your kids, we are going to work to make sure you face the full force and consequences of the law."

Since adoption of this law, it has been ratified because the fine was $350. They are considering reducing the fine, but adding an incarceration clause to it. I think that's GREAT. Why shouldn't parents be held accountable for their own children? It seems the only people ever responsible for these kids are teachers who have to play mommy and daddy while real mom and dad are asleep on the couch all day or have no parenting skills to deal with their kids in the first place. If you can't muster up the initiative to get your kids to school or be semi-involved in their lives as students or as a growing person, then don't have them! I know what you're going to say; "But, Derrick, where would we get that government check from if we didn't have kids?" It's a tough question. I guess I'd answer it with... A JOB. Just a thought.

     I know our education system is flawed. There are just some things that we, as teachers, can't be held accountable for. Raising other people's children is not our job. If you didn't want to deal with them, you should've kept it in your pants. I can't be responsible for that, either. I have so much more to say, but MY SON AND I have a Lego car to build... together. If we fail at that, I promise I won't call his teacher and sue for his inability to manipulate tiny objects or follow written directions. Wish that was true for everyone.

Rant ON  [OFF]



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/17/lincoln-brown-chicago-tea_n_1285750.html?ref=education

http://colorlines.com/archives/2011/01/new_law_could_spell_jail_time_for_california_parents_whose_kids_miss_school.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/15/ohio-high-school-paying-s_n_1280227.html?ref=education

I'm Thankful For...

     Ah, Thanksgiving. My absolute favorite, unparalleled, tantamount holiday of the entire year. Throughout the year, I am angry, disappointed, depressed at times, cynical, and a smart ass. However, on this one glorious day of the year, all of that is forgiven; and I get to eat A LOT. So, that being said, and because I don't do it most of the other 364 days of the year, I give to you my list of people I am thankful for year-round, but only think to publicly discuss it about once a year... kind of like my tax return check...

I am thankful for, but in no particular order other than that's how they popped into my head:


1. My Wife: Jenny and I are unrecognizable to each other from where we started, and, as a wise, jail- time serving craftswoman says, "That's a good thing." I don't know what I'd do without her
listening to me bitch and moan about everything. She's a great mom and wife and I couldn't be more proud of her. Every day I am thankful for her... even when she beats me at Scrabble.






2. My Son: Cameron is absolutely, bar-none, the most amazing thing
I have ever been a part of. He is smart, funny,
and as handsome as, well, we all know who his dad is... He
makes me smile by just being Cameron. I am the luckiest dad
in the world. (One day, he'll get me for this picture!)

                                                                                                                             3. Papaw and Granny: Where would I be without them? Maybe even more importantly, who would I be? They are there for everything that I have ever asked of them. Everything from borrowing tools and showing me how to run an outlet to the breaker box to taking Cameron to experience things like feeding fish, always making sure that we "have everything we need," and being the two most dependable people I have ever known. I love you both.

4. Mom & Dad: I don't get to speak to either of them as much as I'd like or as much as I should. I love them both. Always supportive in the classroom and on the field, I was allowed and encouraged to be whatever I wanted; I tried to be everything. I want Cameron to have the same opportunities, both academics and athletics. Along the way, I somewhere developed a sense of humor that I will attribute to them both. But only because they say I'm their combination of smart-ass: Mom's smarts and Dad's wit. :) I'll take em both!





5. My Friends: I'm talking about those people who, instead of coming to bail you out of jail, would be sitting right there beside you in jail. My list is short. That's mostly my fault. I'm kind of an asshole and make it hard to be around long enough to become true friends with. You know who you are, and to save you the embarassment, I won't put your picture or even mention why Jim and Delisa Davis, Jason Streun, Paul Anderson, Alice Smith, Trudi and Jeremy Brack are not listed.

6. My Other Family:  Paul and Rhonda Jolley, Ryan and Becky Howe, Stephanie and Preston Armstrong. You guys have all become such an intricate part of my life. I can't tell you how blessed I am to have each of you to call family. I love my outlaws, err, inlaws and couldn't have asked for a better group of people to be associated with. I have always been made to feel like I am part of the family, right from the beginning. After what is creeping up on 5 years (eek!) of knowing you all, I have been able to see that this is just who you are. I am so appreciative of each of you because of who you are: Papa, the only other-guy-in-the-house-I talk-to with all those women around. Nana, the best wordsmith I have ever met. Steph, the always there to lend an ear sis. Becky, the life of the party as soon as she speaks! Ryan, the best damned river-floatin' drinkin' partner you could ask for. And Preston... what can I say about the guy who says everything about himself... I love you, man. Staying out til all hours for a game release or XBOX session, just chillin and talking about life, or just trying to change brake lights at 1 in the morning with no clue at all what we're doing; you are a beast, my friend.


I am thankful for these people year-round. I hope they know it. Partly because it's true, but mostly because I probably won't think to say it again until next year. BRING ON THE FOOD!